In Search of the Miraculous

at the edge of space and time, redefining reality, one thought at a time…

THE BUTTERFLY TRIGGER

February15

This will require some brain power. So… buckle up and get some coffee or tea. As a reward you may get a free upgrade of your reality.

So let’s look at things a little differently.

Beyond all the personal conflicts and political dramas that plague the world, here is another layer of the cake: we are all being guided every day by that Intelligence that shaped us in our mother’s womb and pervades all reality.

Now, this is not the old one-dimensional religious style myth we are usually force-fed by well meaning friends and institutions with vested interests. There are other sides of this story. Here is one: each one of us are destined to perform certain tasks and duties; each one of us are “imbued” with some sort of strange contract with the cosmos to reach certain milestone, to help certain people, to evolve to a certain degree, to climb certain heights. When we fulfill this contract, we begin to sparkle. But this contract is also what challenges us constantly like gravity. This is what feels like discomfort when we fall behind on our schedule. This is what pricks us when we sit too long when we are meant to be moving.

It is my understanding that to follow through on this contract – in a time of super fast transformation like the one we are living through – we need to dedicate our full focus and vigilance. It’s so easy to get distracted nowadays: seduced, demotivated and converted into a McDonald’s style man-machine. All you have to do is allow the media distractions, the politicians, the mega-corporations and the prevailing cultural fixations to slowly and comfortably brainwash you into it.

It’s so much harder to remember: to remember to remember why you are here. What is it that you have to do today, so that if you die tomorrow, you will die complete knowing you have done everything you were destined to do? What are you wasting a lot of energy on trying to forget that thing that is pulling the strings of your soul day in and day out?

Staying focused in this world is hard now. It’s so much harder today when religion is no longer true, it has turned into another socio-political machine designed to perform specific tasks that have nothing to do with collective evolution of man, designed to hold man back into the comfortable known within the confines of dying dogmas rather than push him forward into uncharted territories. Where is the fire of curiosity burning at the center of the religious mind?

We stand at the edge now, behind us is the madness of man, and ahead of us is either superman or madness of superman. What you do, I do, is critical for generations to come. There is so much learn, so much to uncover, so much to become. Think about all the caterpillars that lived and died for countless thousands of years before they finally triggered within their genes the metamorphosis of the butterfly. If such things are possible from the evolutionary point of a caterpillar, what could be latent within your body and mind? Just consider that for a few seconds at least.

metamorphosis-of-man

Caterpillars turning into butterflies is not some fruity fantasy, this is the sort of magic that is very much possible with the same sort of DNA and genes that you and I carry. We are not fundamentally different from a caterpillar or a butterfly, or a cat or bird. To put things in perspective, our genome is about 60% identical with an fruit fly. I’m sure the number will be something similar with the caterpillar.

All living things on earth carry the blueprint of life in their DNA molecule that is made of the same atoms: carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen and phosphorus. And within those atoms, that were once forged in the stars, there are possibilities latent that can turn caterpillars into butterflies and mice into men. (Of course genes alone do not explain everything, and in the future we will probably discover that our “blueprint” is really somewhere else or some thing else entirely, but they do explain most of the critical biological functions performed in our bodies. So considering the similarities between us and other living things definitely brings us closer to realizing that we are not orphans, strangers in a strange world, but very much part of the lineage of life that includes the butterflies, bonobos, bats and bananas.)

So the question is: what literally unthinkable latent potentials of trans-formation could you be carrying within you right now? What have you been unconsciously suppressing because it’s “too weird to be true”? Well, if there is one thing I have learned in all my journeys in search of the miraculous, it is this: reality is not only stranger than we think, its stranger than we can think.

For the first time ever a species on earth has crossed the threshold of self-awareness to the point that it can edit its own genes, re-program its own mind, and direct its own evolution. Never before has evolution been a matter of choice as it has become for us. Never before (to the best we can tell) did a monkey sit down in meditation and literally re-wired its neural patterns in order to stabilize some metaphysical insight. And having crossed that threshold, we are now progressing exponentially fast in myriad unexpected and undocumented ways.

Ever wonder who you will become if your mind was just 10% sharper? Good question right? Yet that is literally the most surface level question I could ask. Unfortunately, asking deeper questions will make this article sound increasingly nuttier. Here’s what is undeniably true though: who you are is a limitless being because you are a programmable being. Read that last sentence one more time and then look around and ask yourself: Is this all there is for me to know and to be? How would you know what you are missing out on when truth is literally stranger than all made up fiction and religious fantasies?

Truth transforms, time transforms, and evolution pushes us all towards more order, complex awareness and mind-boggling innovations. But it’s not equal opportunity or positive action for all. Mistakes pile up, and after taking 99 happy steps in the wrong direction just one lousy mistake takes it all away and restarts the game. There is little time for all of us and too great the possibilities of what we might become, too high the chances that if you are not careful someone else will define your reality for you (for their own interests of course) and you won’t even know it. This is why I demand constant vigilance, discipline and focus from those I work with. Voluntary ignorance and chronic mental laziness rarely, if ever, brings true freedom and bliss in the long term.

Magic is real and miracles are real, but you have to deserve it. It takes less than a second to dissolve hell and enter heaven. It’s possible. All you need to do is follow the deepest truth within your heart, and keep taking the next steps no matter how scary it gets. That, I believe is mandatory: simple, critical and mandatory. If you can do that, doors will keep on opening where there were none before, and in the words of Francesco Bernadone of Assisi: Miracles shall follow miracle and wonders shall never cease.

Hope this helps.

Shafin de Zane

PS: If you are interested in working with me personally, look around and I’m sure you’ll find a link somewhere that will show you how.

The Fly

July10

Me and a little fly
Trapped in the sky
Says the little fellow
“Who are you?”
I reply
“Who am I?”

I stumble, I wonder
I reach for my coffee
I sigh.

How do I explain to this little fellow
Who am I?

I am a writer, a poet, a man in search of magic
I am I.

But then again, really
A curious question from a curious fly
Who am I?

 ~Shafin de Zane

5 GOLD KEYS FOR PRACTICAL LIFE MAGIC

November10

4069-438027986-8.pdf

To download the book, please click here or on the image above.

 

EVERY DREAM CAN COME TRUE

March22

(Listen with your headphones on.)

If you have a dream – a wish that you want to see materialized in the real world – protect it. Nurture it with music, poetry, stories, books that inspire… and daily care, focus and perseverance – just like a child.

We wait 9 months for a child to be ready to come out in the world, 9 more years for the child to speak logically, and 9 years more to become a so called adult ready to enroll in the university. Then maybe 9 years after that, we see the new human serving the world on his own in some ways small or big.

Dreams become ready to serve the world with a lot less work and a whole lot faster. But you have to give it some time… and protect it from the virus called disbelief.

The moment you have a dream and believe in it, it begins to grow. The longer you believe, the bigger it grows. The more you feed it love and action, the faster it grows.

And then one day, before you know it, its a real thing that is so big, so beautiful, so powerful, so amazing… that it takes your breath away!

Shafin de Zane

What Is Life?

March21

What is life?

An endless series of disconnected moments where we are random bags of flesh and bones going bump against one another in a never ending battle of survival? Or a mind bogglingly complex and indescribably beautiful cosmic drama in which God unfolds as Unity and Multiplicity all at once?

Ready for this?

I feel that Life is a choice! In all its strange-broken ways, life is unfolding perfectly if you can look at it with enough altitude. The only reason it appears broken is because our thinking rational mind is far too ill equipped to appreciate the intelligence that gives birth to this cosmic drama. It is a choice we have made and it is a choice we make each moment: individually, collectively, globally, universally. We have chosen to be here at this time, chosen to play within these specific set of circumstances, chosen to participate… however incredible that may seem right now, however that may piss you off right now.

Life is a choice and we choose to play it one way or the other.

We can choose to be lazy, spend quarter of a life time watching the television broadcast real and fantasy fear, hatred, cruelty, drama, struggles and fight… and get brainwashed into labeling other humans into every conceivable form of stereotype imaginable, re-create what we are watching into our own personal lives and then blame our spouses, children, government, God, fate, parents for our miserable situation.

Or we can choose to say, “This is madness! Have we all gone completely out of our freakin’ minds?” And we can study and learn.

We can learn to be silent, we can learn to meditate, we can learn to forgive, we can learn to love. And we can learn to awaken that power within us that can turn our everyday lives into a constant adventure filled with magic and miracles, an adventure where the whole universe conspires to help us awaken to higher and higher states of consciousness and evolution.

In my experience, there is nothing called “fate written on stone” somewhere. Destiny is defined by the choices we make in life. And we make those choices every day, every moment of our lives. If you think there is something called no-choice, you are sadly mistaken; no-choice is a powerful choice, it is the choice to sit and not take action. There is a consequence for every choice we make, whether it is to sit and be lazy, or actively align ourselves with the force of Destiny.

God unfolds within us, but not as an actor of a story already written, but as a dynamically evolving drama which gets written throughout many universes, moment by moment, as we pick up the phone and dial a number…

Kring, kring…

(The following is taken from my diary written many years back when I had successfully managed to become penniless after wrecking my business, was running around in the streets of Singapore, being sued in court, with a huge debt on my head, and not enough money to buy food. What came out is something that didn’t make a lot of sense to me back then. But as I read it today, puts a smile on my face.)

“Hello… God?”

“What’s up?”

“You… right? You are what’s up.”

“Well, I’m up and down all around. Don’t forget people of Australia. What is up for you is down for them.”

“Right… I got a question… why did you create the Universe?”

“I didn’t create the Universe, I am the Universe.”

“Ok, then why did you create me?”

“I didn’t create you either. Two of me, your mom and dad, decided to create another me, which is you! Wasn’t that a funny sentence?”

“Not sure, the joke is lost on me. Hey, let me ask you this, why is life difficult?”

“It’s not! Life evolves. Like people grow, like flowers bloom, like universes expand.”

“So why do we have to struggle so much? To be loved, to make money, to raise a family, to keep friends?”

“You shouldn’t have to. Do you know how babies grow, flowers bloom and universes expand all without struggle?”

“How?”

“By being in harmony with life.”

“How do you be in harmony with life?”

“By paying attention. Pay attention dear one! The answer is all around you. There are plenty of people who already know this secret. Learn from them. Learn from the rain, the sun, the stars and the wind. Pay attention. The moment you begin to listen, the music is all around to guide you forward. The moment you stop pushing and relax yourself, you will feel the gentle flow of the Universe. Stop thrashing and start flowing. Take a deep breath and listen to the silence. Soon you will hear the soft humming from soul of the world”

“Anything else?”

“Yep… stop judging and start loving. The less you judge, the more energy you will have.”

“You mean, even if someone steals my car, I shouldn’t judge?”

“Yep, don’t judge. But don’t be an idiot either. Do what needs to be done yet never put anyone out of your heart. Our greatest misfortunes are nothing but calls for evolution. The tiger eats the deer that eats the grass which feeds on both the tiger and deer when they die. None of them judge the other. All is One.”

“Ok, last question, I’m sure you are busy…”

“Not really, I’m just having fun being all of you all at once. And since I got a wicked sense of humor (have you noticed?), and also since I can see the whole story unfold beyond time and space, I’m on a joyride here. But go on, what’s your question?”

“Erm… how do I get in harmony with the Universe, at the same time do everything in this world like make money etc?”

“Study. Study like you are going to die tomorrow. The more you study, the better you understand the rules of this game, which are not so complicated, really. Study and pay attention.”

“Pay attention to what?”

“Signs, synchronicities, messages, miracles… it’s all around. Stop trying to act so logical for once and trust the child inside. Be childlike, follow the butterfly just because you like the color on its wings and see where it leads you. Stop trying to make everything go the way your ego mind wants it to go. Go with the flow and watch the miracles unfold. Go with the flow and watch the adventures begin. Go with the flow and allow me to tell you what to do next. There are so many fantastic adventures I can lead you to, if only you pay attention and keep taking the next steps forward.”

“Hmm… ok thanks God. Is there anything else I should know?”

“There are literally infinite amount of things you will know eventually, but for now here is one that will help: I love you. I am you. By your very nature you cannot fail, all you can do is learn. The more you learn, the more fun you will have in this great adventure called life. And in the end, it will all be good. If it’s not, it’s not the end.”

Q&A On Songs Of Inspiration

October20

The following Q&A is response to the video “Songs Of Inspiration 01 – It Is Time”:

QUESTION:

Thank you for the new inputs. but one question that has always and still intrigues is “why am i here?” i did not ask to be, or at least i don’t know that i did. To be good /bad, do something or don’t do something becomes relevant when i want something. I did not. In my limited understanding i do not even want to be here. So?

Thanks,

D***

ANSWER:

The “I” who is asking the question is THOUGHT. You are the result of a 14 billion year effort of the Universe. You are the Universe, every single particle of your body. The one who is asking the question however is a quite an interesting phenomenon: thought! Thought is a entirely new development of evolution which is a little difficult to see through without a bit of training. Thought is the evolutionary ability of the Universe to become conscious of its various parts by looking at itself and wondering about it. The story of the human race is the biblical parable of the fall, of eating the symbolic apple (knowledge) and experiencing separation (forgetting our common divinity). So yes, not only did you want to be here, you also worked extremely hard for it, for BILLIONS of years! Once you remember this again, life will have entirely different meaning for you.

I know this may sound a little difficult to understand at first, but if you really look deeply into it, it is the simplest truth around: the discovery of our own deepest self.

Shafin

QUESTION:

Dear Shafin,

As always, your messages and questions are all inspiring and thought provoking. Yes absolutely, we need to push to higher level of consciousness to reach and awaken our inner deeper realization of the nature and I… for higher peace and happiness of oneself first before we can help others..

If life is a continuation, beyond our present birth and death… this would be a very serious matter to consider on how we should live and practice to higher level of consciousness. Living a noble way in this present life and preparing and welcoming our next existence. Otherwise, we might risk landing our next existence in the “hottest places” according to Dante Alighieri and many others.

Now…the big question is how to walk this noble path and awaken to a higher realization of consciousness?

B***

ANSWER:

The path is simple, as always: be impeccable every moment of your life. This means following the deepest truth of your heart, what ever it maybe, no matter how formidable the obstacles may be. Your truth is your truth, and you will be only held responsible for that which is your truth, not anything else. The question is are you following your truth, or are you following your ego, or are you indulging in convenient ignorance? Everyone knows right from wrong, some choose to follow it some don’t, but the truth is always there at the deepest depths of your heart and anyone can choose to hear it whenever they want, if they really want.

It is my understanding that the highest crime is not murder, or violent behavior, or anything else… but betraying the deepest truth of your heart. Once again, there is a ocean of a difference between what is your true hearts inspiration and what is the convenient concoction of the ego. If we are truly honest, if we are capable of true self reflection on the mirror, we always know what is right from wrong. And when you follow that noble right path, the deepest truth of your heart… in the end you always win, if you don’t its not the end.

Shafin

QUESTION:

Dear Shafin,

Thank you for your email. It has come at a very low point in my life. I have lost my way and my health is very poor as I am suffering from a nervous condition and have some of the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. I am awaiting an appointment to see a neurologist to be have some tests done.

I had so many negative things happening to me, some at the same time, and others in quick succession. I deemed it to be spiritual but did not have a clue as to how to cope. The numerous stresses finally got to me as I responded in the wrong way.

I am trying desperately to hold on to my faith in God and to seek deliverance from the position I find my self in at this time. I have thought about one on one lessons with you and will be in touch about these in the next few days.

Shafin, my brother and friend, your emails have always reached at the most opportune times in my life. I am sure there is a good reason for that, although right now I am confused because of wrong thinking, and lack of confidence and my present state of mind.

Thanks for all the information and access to websites that you have sent me at this time.

I pray for your continued success in spreading love and unity to everyone.

G***

ANSWER:

Dear G,

We all lose our way, we all do despicable things at some point or the other, we all make mistakes… especially if we play the game of life fully, directly, with intensity and passion. We are humans and humans are warriors of light, whether or not we can accept it, and that means, more than anything else, we evolve to higher and more mature levels of consciousness, continuously. We awaken to deeper realms of truth, we redefine our reality, we stretch our boundaries all the way to infinity.

This means what was truth for us last year is no more than an embarrassing stupidity today. And what is true for us today will probably transform into something far deeper and higher a year from now. On this journey of awakening, more than anything else, we need humility to accept our own limitations and abilities.

So how do we choose if we realise that truth has many layers and what is true in one framework and circumstance is entirely unacceptable on another plane? We choose by following the deepest truths of our soul moment by moment, today, here, now. In my understanding, in the end that is what counts. In the end you will be held responsible for that which you do know, not that which you do not.

And what do we do about all the mistakes we made, the unfairness, the unkindness, the voluntary ignorance and convenient cruelty? We do what we can do in the only moment that ever makes any difference at all: NOW. We choose to take responsibility now, the moment of our awakening. We choose to give our full effort now. We choose to change the world now. We choose to say I love you, I forgive, I am sorry… I will do whatever it takes, no matter what to make it up to you… now.

Remember, the same intelligence and inspiration that fuelled the big bang, that evolved from elementary particles to stars and galaxies to reptiles and fishes to YOU… is the same intelligence that stirs the deepest depths of your heart, moves you to choose this road or that road, whispers as the soul. From this perspective, even our mistakes are perfect pieces of the puzzle that are parts of the infinite tapestry of the breathtaking perfection that we call life. Every snowflake falls in its perfect place… yet we are humans, which means we have to take responsibility. Such a mindbogglingly beautiful paradox, such divine mystery.

So in the end, do what you can do now, that is what will ever make a difference. Follow your deepest truth now. Take action now. Commit to your heart now. Be love now. And if you do, the magic of life, the miracle of life is that… when we take action based on love… in the end its always good, if its not, its not the end.

Shafin

The Primary Mistake That Most Spiritual Seekers Make

July31

There is a primary mistake that most spiritual seekers make on their journey towards enlightenment, growth or evolution.

Not being aware of this basic mistake can result in a life time of going in circles, hitting against walls… without ever tasting that moment of rapture that is known as awakening.

This mistake is the simple assumption that when that moment of awakening comes, it will be something of a personal achievement.

In reality it is the exact opposite.

Spiritual awakening is not the awakening of some kind of “Super Me” but awakening from the dream of “me… and my story”.

It is the awakening of the primordial intelligence of life that is within you and everything else in this universe.

It is the opposite of “me”.

It is the awake awareness of the ground of being that is simultaneously the Source of this universe as well as the driving intelligence of evolution.

It is awakening of that which is beyond thought, emotions, desire and personal ambition. It is the awakening of That, God, It…

And it is your innermost, deepest, most authentic self.

Thought is important, very important, it is the crowning jewel of the evolution of consciousness thus far, but it is only important when you realize there is a King wearing the crowning jewel called thought… the jewel is not the King. The King is you, thought is your evolutionary achievement, crowning jewel, but not who you are.

You can use this fantastic tool in extremely powerful ways, but only if you truly understand how to handle thought, when you are not lost in the realm of thought, which is to say when you don’t mistake yourself as thought.

The King and the jewel maybe together most of the time, when it is practical and necessary, but if the King has no awareness of his being beyond the jewel, then he is insane and dangerous, and his jewel may very well be his terminal curse.

Similarly, if you have no awareness of your being beyond thought, you are insane too, dangerous when you perceive imagined threat to your jewels in the head, and a threat to yourself primarily and others secondarily.

This is the story of human evolution thus far: extremely powerful tool at hand, so powerful that it has taken over the host itself.

Realize this deeply and you have taken the first step towards awakening.

~Shafin de Zane

Awakening To The Infinite – A map of the authentic spiritual journey

February8

Here is something I believe you will find useful… an overview of the journey towards spiritual awakening and what lies beyond.

Awakening To The Infinite - A Map Of The Authentic Spiritual Journey

Awakening To The Infinite – A Map Of The Authentic Spiritual Journey

Leave your questions and comments below.

Enjoy!

Shafin

Plan Your Happiness

October10

Being in a positive and inspired state of mind most of the time is a skill. It requires focus, determination, work, persistence and above all the willingness to do whatever it takes no matter what.

Being inspired is a choice. Being unhappy is a choice. Being productive is a choice. Being miserable is a choice. If you do nothing, you get what most people get: a mixed bag of daily experience filled with inspiration, unhappiness, productivity and misery.

If you make a decision to be consistently inspired, consistently productive, consistently happy… and take it like any skill you have learned in life like driving, or cooking, or playing guitar… you can be a master of it. You don’t become a skilled guitar player by admiring Mark Knopfler once in a while, you don’t become a star employee by just hanging about in office, and you don’t achieve mental emotional mastery by just doing random things in life. You decide, make plans, work towards it each day, and eliminate all obstacles on the way.

Being happy is not complicated. But you have to realize the mind boggling obvious: it’s something you have to commit to. Happiness is not a state of mind that we catch from the ether, nor is it a lottery some people are born with. It is something we either earn through realization of our worthy goals, or something we feel when we focus on the right stimuli (a sunset, a laughing baby, great music), or something we experience when we are in presence of the right people. Being happy is not complicated but being consistently happy is what requires work and planning.

Plan your happiness. Do what needs to be done. Remember, only a happy person can make someone else happy. Don’t be so lazy that you can’t even be happy. You owe it to your friends, family, loved ones and above all else: yourself.

Love, Sex & Neuro Chemicals

February6

Question From A Reader:

Dear Shafin,

I have found your website a few months ago and read a lot of your articles, which are quite amazing.

I never did have the time to write about a specific problem of mine and i would appreciate your opinion about this. I heard actually so many different opinions about a lot of people and i guess i poisoned my mind.

I am involved for two years with a kind of on and off and on and off relationship, and i feel i cannot leave from this situation. This person has now idea of what he wants and the truth is a lot of things have gone beyond any boundaries. It’s a situation where i got lost and feel i lose my self and there are times i cannot recognize me. The other day i texted him and said “listen, i think it’s best for both of us to sit down and talk, in order to find a healthy track” and his answer was “it’s a good idea but i can’t this week, maybe sometime next week”. I think i have postponed things for a very long time, and the truth is i have been very patient for so long.

I sat down and thought about everything:

The fact that we are not right for each other because there is a bad vibe between us, he is very negative sometimes, does not know what he wants and cannot make a decision. Unfortunately there i one thing that keeps me going back, and i am ashamed to say it, and i don’t know why i keep doing it. It’s the “sexual part” that i really do like but that’s just it, nothing else!

I really want to move on, i don’t have regrets about the two years i have been with this person but i think that this story has reached to an end.

But how, it’s like i need something to shake me, cause i want to stop thinking about him most of the time. It’s like he has this power over me. Many times i tried to leave from this situation, but it was he would come back or i would go back.

I have my own house, a really good job that pleases me, i have no problem of my looks or the person i am in, i love my family and friends and i am always there for them when needed. But i also like my privacy sometimes, to read my books, make a nice meal and enjoy the moment, etc…

I would so much like to hear from you,

Thank you,

S***


Answer From Shafin:

Dear S***

Let me try to give you a simple explanation to your situation:

1. You are right you do need a shake up for you to move forward. We humans are like that. As long as we can remain in the realm of understandable (our comfort zone) we keep doing what’s NOT working over and over and expect different results. Crazy, I know. But that’s how we are. I’ve been there too; sometimes I catch myself even these days!

2. Here is the biology behind your situation (bear with me here, it will make sense):

When we are in love with someone and we are having sex with them, here is what happens in your brain…

First, the part called Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) lights up and releases dopamine (the feel good neuro-transmitter for motivation and reward). Dopamine is addictive and intoxicating. Its presence makes us giddy with pleasure, which is why the lack of it also makes us irritable.

Now it doesn’t stop there. From VTA, the next area that activates is the Nucleus Accumbens (NAc), the area for intense pleasure and also anticipation of pleasure. Over here men get a huge shot of testosterone and Vasopressin (I’ll tell you what happens with those in a bit) and women get flooded with estrogen and oxytocin.

Testosterone makes men aggressive. Vasopressin makes them territorial and protective of their mate and turf. Estrogen on the other hand makes women all feminine and loving, and oxytocin is the bliss chemical that makes them float in pleasure and bliss.

Now here is where the magic happens… (pay attention here)

After NAc, the next section that activates is the Caudate Nucleus (CN), which is the area of the brain that memorizes the look, feel and identity of the person who is giving the pleasure. The more pleasure you get from this person, the more regularly you get the pleasure, the more chiseled he gets in your long term memory.

What does that mean? It means you will not only seek this person over and over for giving you your shot of dopamine + oxytocin but also you will reject others from coming close to you. Why? Because your brain has memorized the identity of the one specific person from whom it wants its drugs from. It’s nature’s way of increasing our fidelity.

So what is the solution? To solve any problem you need to understand it first. Understanding a problem is 50% solving it. So now you know that your body is addicted to the happy drugs that it believes it can get only from this one person. You need to change that. It’s not going to be easy but at least now you know why it’s happening.

My suggestion:

1. Start dating other people, even though you will probably not like it first. Remember the brain is stuck on this one guy. Let it be. Ignore it like a pebble in your shoe. Its there, nothing you can do for now, so just dance.

2. Remember when you’ll try to stay away from him you will feel a tremendous pull. Normally you’d think its love for him or you miss him. Now you know you are actually missing the dopamine. Your brain is craving the happy drug to feel good. Distract yourself in times of this withdrawal syndrome. Go watch a fun movie. Go out with friends. Eat some chocolates, they cause dopamine release in the brain. Eat almonds, same thing, not as quick as chocolate, but same effect.

3. Go for a vacation somewhere far away if you can. And DO NOT talk to him on the phone while you are out there. Meet new people.

4. Be creative and figure out your own solution, now that you understand the problem a bit better.

Finally, before I end today, here’s a bit of good news for everyone: in a week or two I will be launching a totally free video course called “The Psychology of Attraction”. It will be a crash course on attraction, seduction, evolution and much more. Look out for my email that should reach your inbox sometime in the next couple of weeks (fingers crossed) 🙂  Also if you want to ask any specific questions on this topic, write it in the comment below, I will take the top questions and answer it in the upcoming video course.

Till then, spread the love and make this world a little better today!

Shafin

Shafin de Zane, CHT, MH, MNLP
Hypnotherapist, Author, Spiritual Coach
www.redefineyourreality.com

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