In Search of the Miraculous

at the edge of space and time, redefining reality, one thought at a time…

eCourse Day 4: Deadly mistakes we make Part 1

Hi There,

How would you like to hear a love story? I love nice romantic stories (when they are not too long), don’t you?

This is the story of our friend Paul who was very attracted to his co-worker Suzan. In the beginning Paul never thought that he would ever be able to take the relation to more than a hi and hello. But it was Paul’s lucky month. He got assigned to a project where Suzan and he would have to work together for a while. He couldn’t believe his luck!

As the days went by Paul became more and more attracted towards her. And as they spent more and more time together, that attraction turned into more of a deep obsession. Her laughter drove him crazy, the smell of her hair intoxicated him and her perfume made him want to be close to her all day and night.

However, as he grew more and more feelings towards her, he also grew increasingly unconfident as he couldn’t tell what her real feelings for him were. She genuinely seemed to like him and enjoyed his company. She also hugged him at times to say goodbye. She sometimes brought him coffee in the morning, did not refuse when he paid for her food at the take away restaurant, even kissed him on the cheek occasionally. Although she did mention to him once or twice that she wasn’t really “relationship material” and the most important thing in her life was work right now. All this only confused him more.

He talked to some of his buddies over beer and they were no help either, most of them said she definitely loved him, but something told Paul that something was off in the whole story. After all Suzan never asked him to come to her house and she never accepted his invitation for dinner, or she did not pick up his calls once or twice when he called at late hours. Paul figured she must be an early sleeper. He didn’t mind as most of the working hours they were together so it was ok.

As the days passed by, Paul’s feelings grew unbearable and eventually he decided to confess his feelings to Suzan. He decided that when he told her how he felt, she would feel the same way too.

He prepared for the big day for almost one week gathering up courage. His pulse ran fast, he lost his appetite and he felt feverish. Finally after a lot of planning and rehearsing, he made his move. He told Suzan that he fell in love with her, that he wanted to be with her, that he needed her as she needed him, to fill the void in each others hearts.

Suzan sincerely thanked him and told him that she never saw him more than a friend and a co-worker and she would not do anything to screw up the “beautiful” relationship they have right now. She said that he was a wonderful man, but she really didn’t see him in any other way than a friend.

Paul was devastated for a while but his beer buddies supported him through this. They told him not to give up because that’s what women always say before they give in. And Paul decided that’s exactly what he would do. He wouldn’t give up.

By this time it was Christmas holidays and their project had also ended. He hadn’t seen Suzan for over a week, so he wrote an enormous letter explaining how much he loves Suzan and sent it to her with a dozen red roses. And he waited hoping this time it would change her mind. But nothing! She didn’t call and she didn’t reply. After Paul called her like a dozen times, she picked up the phone but she sounded distracted. She told him that she was really busy and she would get back to him later. That never happened.

To cut a long story short, our friend Paul’s dreams never came true as a few weeks later Suzan quit her job and went for a better offer and Paul never heard from her again.

Hmm… Nice story eh? It’s a true story also. I have seen and heard so many versions of this story over and over that now I can tell what is going to happen after listening to the first few sentences. Some how, men typically repeat this pattern over and over and still fail to learn.

However there is a reason I am telling you this story today. And that reason is that this story is a perfect example of what DOESN’T work. And I need you to remember this. So here is what doesn’t work:

What doesn’t work is trying to “win” a woman’s heart by doing her favors, buying her things, sucking up to her etc. What also doesn’t work is trying hard to make her change her mind to feel attracted towards you. In fact, when you try to make her “change” her mind to feel attracted towards you, it works in reverse. Ergo: she feels more repulsed by you than before.

And once you have entered that repulsion zone, let me assure you, it’s very difficult to come out. So before you wonder how to turn back this impossible situation around, I need you to understand that attraction is not a logically thought out phenomenon. If it happens, it happens automatically and instantly. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

The trick is, however, to learn how to create attraction immediately and instantly and never enter the “friend zone” or worse the “repulsion zone” in the first place. And how do you learn that?

Well, one way is to wonder forever and go through trial and error, crash and burn and maybe come to a workable understanding eventually. The other way is to go get the Redefine Your Reality ebook at —

It contains all that you need to know about rules of attraction, how to maintain relationships once you have them, who to stay away from, and more! It’s instantly downloadable and you can have it right away. If money is an issue,  look at it as an investment and cut down on some other costs to make it happen. Invest on the most valuable asset of your life: YOU!

If you have already bought the book along with huge list of great bonus material included with it, you can re-read the chapters 9-13 in Part 4: Attraction Redefined

Day 04: Exercise 01: Consciously remember all the women that you have had crushes on or messed up just like our friend Paul. Be honest and identify how many of the mistakes you made that were mentioned in the story above. Try to figure out what would you have done if you knew then what you know now.

Day 04: Exercise 02: Start noticing people around you who seem to have only one strategy for winning the women of fancy, BUY THEIR ATTENTION. Make a mental note whenever you see them that these guys are going DOWN… FAST. And tell yourself, even if all your social/cultural programming tells you to do the same, you will NEVER EVER be like one of them.

Today we have mostly talked about the guy’s side of the story, tomorrow we will cover the ladies side. Tomorrow you will learn how even the most beautiful women lose their power over the men who practically worshipped them once. And how they lose their men to other women (who are not necessarily better looking or more charming)!

Now go out and have some fun. You are going upwards and onwards!


Shafin de Zane, CHT, MH, MNLP
Hypnotherapist, Author, Spiritual Coach

posted under eCourse
One Comment to

“eCourse Day 4: Deadly mistakes we make Part 1”

  1. On June 25th, 2009 at 4:18 pm Design Of A Meaningful Life | Spiritual Journey Says:

    […] Day five covered the first part of Deadly Mistakes We Make. Here you heard the popular story of Paul and Suzan. You learnt that buying things and doing favors are totally counter productive in trying to create attraction if it is not already there. You learnt that when the woman is not attracted to you sexually, trying to “logically convince” her would ensure that she would actually get repulsed by you. You were told that the ideal way is to do things that create attraction from the beginning. […]

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