QUESTION FROM A READER:
For over 15 years I have been studied metaphysics, Met someone who is one of the speakers on the video the Secret and spoken to him. Leaned self hypnotherapy and also listened to Steve G. Jones on attracting wealth ,great relationships etc. Down loaded countless products on the law of attraction subliminal suggestion and read ninety percent of the books that are in the free download once Ive purchased your book. None has made any difference infact im in a worse position in every area of my life these days than i was thirty years ago.
What i would like to ask what in your book would be any different from all the other metaphysicians claiming to turn peoples lives around if none of this stuff has bought into fruition the things i have being trying to manifest. For ten years I have tried everything to bring in a mutually loving and supportive relationship only to attract crazy makers, commitment phobics and con men.
I havnt been asking for this. I have had vision boards,imaginging as if i already have a great relationship ,hypnosis etc etc Have no problem attracting men in the first place. Should it be this difficult after working with all these techniques from the law of attraction. I have constantly asked for a healthy relationship and abundance. Have taken action and being very focused and possitive only to start at the bottom again. Im nearly fifty years Idont feel old but find it very difficult to remotivate my self and continually come up with the same result. I I would be happy to purchase your book but well how is it any different.Could you offer me an answer.
I’m not going to answer the parts about “why you should buy my book” but address some far more important questions that you have asked without really putting it in words.
The first thing you need to realize is that the problems you mention are not very unique. In fact it’s quite common. Many people experience such blockages and find, while highly re-assuring and most times very entertaining, all these wonderful ideas of law of attraction, vision boards and so on somehow just don’t work for them (or works sometimes but not other times). You are nothing special in this department.
Now I want you to read the above lines a few more times before you read anything further. Do not read further until you have read it at least 3 times.
I want you to become aware of how you felt when you read my words above. What was your mental talk to yourself? If you felt even a slight twinge of irritation or anger at my words, it could be because “that it doesn’t work for you” actually is your way of feeling special. Something to take note of and think about. Again, interestingly there is nothing to unique in that department either. Many of us do it simply because our ego mind has many convoluted ways of making us feel special. It’s workable, and very much solvable a problem. If you actually did welcome my words, then read on.
We go about trying to attract our reality using our mind power and intention without asking one vital yet tremendously uncomfortable question: who thinks our thoughts? We want this and we want that, we try to manifest relationships, dollars, cars and circumstances. But we rarely stop to wonder, where is it that we get these desires from?
The usual answer to this question is “well I do, I think my own thoughts”. But do you really? The uncomfortable truth is that less than 10% of our life is directed by our thinking, logical, rational, “conscious”, ego mind. The rest 90% or more of our decisions and desires in life come from our subconscious mind which is the mega store house of beliefs, emotions, habits, and permanent memory of our life experiences. And where does our beliefs come from? How are our habits formed? What memories of childhood do you have stored in the dark corners of your mind? What are your emotions trying to tell you? What is the purpose of your emotions that hold so much power over your life?
The answers to those above questions, unfortunately, require an exploration of the human mind that I cannot give you in this little email but let me briefly give you an idea about where I am going with all of this:
See our conscious thoughts are entirely shaped by life experiences. Life experiences create the framework of our belief system (our functional paradigm of the world). Our beliefs then serve as background pattern, default choice, subconscious decision making blueprint, as we go about making thousands of choices every day. Every moment, we are making choices and decisions: what to wear, what to eat, which shampoo to buy, how to answer a question, which credit card to get, which stranger to talk to, which beggar to give alms to, which TV channel to watch, which partner to date, who we should trust, who we should avoid, what job to take, which dreams to follow, which books to read, what to write on vision boards… endless series of decisions and judgments, most of which we THINK we are making, but really it maybe being shaped by forces and factors we have no clue about!
Don’t believe me? Well, here is a little news for you: human mind is far easier to influence that we are willing to accept! Here is an example (Derren Brown is a famous British Mentalist and Simon Pegg is the star of many movies including Shaun Of The Dead, Run Fat Boy Run and my recent favorite… How To Lose Friends and Alienate People):
Okay maybe what you just saw is an extreme, maybe it required many props and careful manipulation of environment to pull off the trick, but just like the video, we too are being influenced by big marketing companies ALL THE TIME. Trust me when I tell you this: they know MIND CONTROL.
And what about all the random, yet highly powerful messages that we are exposed to everyday by the newspapers, radio, television news, movies, documentaries, advertisements etc? These shows and messages are created by some of the most brilliant and creative marketing minds of the world. These messages are powerful, engaging, entertaining and they have ONE common purpose: sell advertisement space! If no one bought advertisement space on CNN, it wouldn’t be able to run, if no one bought advertisements on Google, even they won’t be able to run. In turn, the advertisements have ONE purpose: to make YOU buy what they are selling. And in order to do that, sometimes they have to ALTER your perception of reality before you are in the right mind frame to buy (a BMX instead of a leather jacket).
Now what has all of this got to do with metaphysics and apparent lack of success with all the new age ideas? Everything! While the concept of being able to attract everything you want into your life is wonderfully empowering, it’s simply an intermediate step on the way to enlightenment. It’s a great concept for all those stuck in a life where they think “life is something that happens to them” but not so great for people who have progressed somewhat and are ready to understand some deeper aspects of reality.
Here is the problem with the great “law of attraction”: if you can’t see the future, don’t know what your personal destiny is, are incapable of predicting what will make you happy (as it is apparent by our decisions which only lead us to a future we are usually not happy with at all) and are completely biased by continuous marketing messages that bombard us every waking hour… how can we take responsibility for altering circumstances and events that are inextricably entangled with everyone and everything in the universe? How can we choose when we don’t even know what is favorable and what is not? How can we change our future, when we don’t even know what will make us happy?
Everything is interconnected. And we cannot change one grain of sand without changing the entire universe. But that is NOT to say that we cannot attract our dreams and desires into manifestation. We very well can, at least in the beginning, as many will religiously vouch to you that law of attraction works. And it does… but not for long. Why not? Because the design is such that it only works until you have successfully escaped the prison of “life is a struggle and you have to work hard” mentality. Once you have escaped, are reasonably certain that there is a deeper reality with very different laws that govern it, that your mind is very much capable of altering the course of events, the whole thing either stops working or becomes harder and harder to manifest.
Law Of Attraction works generally, not specifically. It works in the level of thoughts. Thoughts become things (generally). Thoughts about poverty, struggle and fight, brings more poverty, struggle and fight. Thoughts of peace, love and prosperity brings more peace, love and prosperity… generally. The specifics are in the domain of the Universe, in the hands of God.
The problem begins when we try to write our own specific future and materialize specific circumstances. Since our thoughts and desires are often not our own, and rarely in sync with the “big plan” (which is interconnected with all things and all people), they rarely materialize. When they don’t materialize, we become frustrated and go back to our old ways or distract ourselves with some form of external stimuli (food, drugs, movies, news, relationships, charity, and even helping others). But the frustration remains, the cognitive dissonance (conflict between beliefs and results) remains.
Unfortunately, since we have no better model and since all these new age products keep telling us that its “supposed to work” this way and gather many testimonials and what not to “prove” to you that its working for everyone else… and since it still doesn’t work for you, you get even more frustrated.
Actually its worse than that because if it didn’t work at all, that would be fine (although disappointing) and you could move on. But it works for you too, only sometimes, and not the other times. Somehow the “small things” that you dont care much about works better than the bigger things you “really want”. And since that makes you confused, angry and frustrated, it becomes harder to be truly grateful and joyous. And now the law of attraction works against you, rather than for you, and you keep wondering “where is it that it all went wrong???”
There is a better, more mature way of doing things. And that way is opening yourself up to miracles, instead of magic (or make things happen consciously by mind power).
How do you open up to miracles? Now this a topic like learning to swim, I can write many pages but you might learn nothing if you never tried to swim before. To really learn to swim, you need an instructor, you need to be in water, you need to practice and after all of that you will still look like a drowning monkey in the beginning. To be a little more direct, LIVING this way (as opposed to just intellectually understanding) requires you to radically transform your mind and completely change the way you live. You need a good teacher and you need some patience before you begin to de-program some of that negative programming. There is no quick fix or magic formula for this. If you wish to work with me, you are welcome to do so. Click here to make a choice.
Now let me give you some steps to live a life of miracles and magic:
First realize that YOU are NOT your thinking ego mind. You are much bigger than that. Your ego (that thinks and has a name and wants lots of material things) is a part of you, a tiny part at that, but it is not YOU. It’s only a part of you.
Second, meditate. Meditation is the royal road to enlightenment and miracles. It is the automatic process of healing yourself and opening yourself to direct communication with the Source or God.
Third, be open to ALL possibilities, every moment of every day. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. It’s a great intellectual concept but tremendously hard to pull off when life gives you one of her many challenges. The only way to truly be open is by meditating, which will automatically help you dis-identify yourself from your ego mind, which will allow you to perceive the Unity of all things and co relationship between everything in the universe, which will allow you to understand the signs which are all around us, which will allow you to be open because now you realize that you are being guided, you are being taken care of, you are loved beyond comprehension.
When you are open, you no longer struggle and fight, but simply say “Thy Will Be Done”.
So meditation is the key. Meditation will automatically heal your mind and illuminate all the dark areas where those limiting patterns and behaviors reside. It will alter time, space and redefine your reality… automatically. You will no longer need to struggle or fight, or take the enormous responsibility of designing your destiny. You are far greater than your ego mind wants you to realize. Far too great is your destiny for your ego mind to design.
Pure meditation is pure void – pure silence, remember that, everything else is a technique that leads us to that place. In fact, pure meditation is Unity, or Love, which is too deep a concept to put in words so I will stop here.
I know I didn’t answer even one question you directly asked. But I do hope my words have overlapped your consciousness and touched your soul, and you are able to get a glimpse of that which cannot be taught with words.
With lots of love,
Shafin de Zane, CHT, MH, MNLP
Hypnotherapist, Author, Spiritual Coach
On Law Of Attraction And Giving (Live Coaching Session)